TV

This week, a lot has happened in my world of television. Okay, so what I watch is not at all versatile and either tween comedies, 90’s sitcoms, or ‘pretty people in New York’ shows, but still, I have Yahoo! as my homepage, and I follow AE’s blog for DWTS updates… even if I don’t watch it at all.

1. Total Drama World Tour. So it was Cody vs Alejandro vs Heather. Cody was out before the first commercial break. Courtney acted like a b!tch from my private school. It reminded me of those capture-the-flag days in gym when I’d be told to move because they were girls, and if I didn’t let them pass, they’d either make it look like I pushed kicked raped them. I remember I got one of them out once, but she kept moving, so I just tapped her shoulder and guess what? HER EXTENSIONS CAME OUT. And I got in trouble because that b!tch could fake cry and her parents ‘donated’ a lot. Private schools suck. But yeah, where was I? So Courtney was like ‘Let. Us. MOVE.’ and then Cody and Harold were like no and then she was either kicked or stabbed Harold in the privates. o.O And ugh, she’s been a camera whore since season 2. And this season she got eliminated at 7th/6th place and she STILL was in like most of the episodes after. Ugh. So where was I? Oh yeah. So Heather won. And then lost the money because of Ezekiel-in-Name-Only. Then everyone got burned. And next season has a new cast? Thanks a lot, EiNO! Let’s see how Courtney, Duncan and Owen will sneak on to the show now. The alternate ending was irritating, so I’m happy that Heather ‘legitimately’ won. Fun fact: She’s the first girl and minority winner of Total Drama.
2. iCarly: iStart a Fan War. So the trio goes to some web convention. Spencer tags along. I’ll save you one hour and sum up what really happened. Jack Black vs Jerry Trainer. Ugh. It was them being stupid and basically fighting hugging and shouting stupid chants. The trio got into a fight with their fans about who’s dating whom and then the fans got into a huuuugeeee fight. And then Carly just yelled at everyone and said ‘You’re all creeps for trying to pair us up. iCarly is about the comedy lololol’. And then Gibby and family got lost. The Gibby parts were funny, but it wasn’t iCarly; it felt more like some weird spinoff. It’s obvious Gibby and his brother are going to continue the Schneider-cy once iCarly ends. But yeah. I hate how Dan Schneider killed off any relationship growth between the characters and said we’re stupid for wanting anything because iCarly has ‘such fine and groundbreaking humor’. I mean, it’s better than half the things on Disney, but sometimes it feels like a glorified YouTube account. And when did Jack Black become so annoying? I liked School of Rock and I remember tolerating the few Kids Choice Awards he hosted but good gosh I can’t stand him and Jerry Trainer in the same room. The Zoey 101 and Drake and Josh reference/crossovers were nice at first, then they got annoying. But yeah, I hated how Dan just called all of his viewers, AKA his paycheck, nerds who don’t have anything else to do who hate his comedic skills and only care about relationships. And he also groups us iCarly viewers with those Dungeons and Dragons basement dwellers that treat MMPORGs religiously. And a lot of people on his blog agreed with me. I hated how at first it looked like a major episode of the show, but as the premiere date came closer, it became ‘featuring Jack Black!’ and it ended up as… a pointless filler episode where Dan Schneider basically verbally abused his fans.
3. Dancing with the Stars: How is Bristol still on? Ugh. Sure, people might be voting for her based on improvement, but I read AE’s blog post… so yeah. I remember reading someone wrote this once: “On DWTS, people are supposed to lose weight as a result of training. How do we know Bristol doesn’t deserve to last this long? She hasn’t trained at all, because every week she gets bigger and bigger. Seriously, she could just sit down and eat fried chicken on the floor and her partner could frolic around her and she’d still last’. Okay, so it’s a little paraphrased, but honestly, someone else wrote that! I mean, I don’t watch DWTS, but when she sent home like, what, 5 people home, shouldn’t that set someone’s radar off? I agree with Joy Behar on BP: “On one hand, I’m happy that she’s might win because it would make the Palins happy and not run for anything ever again. But on the other hand, what if a dancing show is just the start? What if they’re convinced that America wants to see more of them? If Bristol won a dancing show, how would they do during an actual election?”.