The 90s are not All That

So TeenNick recently started airing old 90s shows at midnight. Everybody else is happy and I should be too, but I’m not. List time. And the second person refers to people on my newsfeed, not you specifically.  

• I saw several people my age (born in 1995) or younger (1996, 1997, etc) last night on my Facebook news feed with ‘yay it’s like my childhood again <3’ and stuff. By 2000, people born in 1995 would be 5 AT MOST and people born in 1996 would be 4 and so on. How much of your childhood do you remember from when you were 5 and younger? Especially what you watched? And a lot of these stuff strike me as older kids/ tween and up stuff. When I was a kid, I watched whatever was on PBS and Kids WB and stuff. I barely watched Nickelodeon, and if I did, it wasn’t Clarrisa Explains it All (which ended before I was born) or Kenan & Kel, but cartoons (Rugrats mostly ). And I know there’s syndication and everything but seriously. And a lot of people didn’t even refer to Clarissa as the show, but literally ‘the blonde girl’. If you can’t name her now, how would you remember watching her over a decade ago?
• The seizurific commercials. I don’t really have vision problems or anything, but there’s this one commercial that has clips of random shows and cartoons in 10 seconds… except they all flash before my eyes while I try to figure out which clip belongs to which show. For some reason the video won’t embed in here, so here’s a link.
• They got rid of Freaks & Geeks and Undeclared, which ironically got cancelled because of low ratings. I don’t care much for Freaks & Geeks but it was pretty good and Undeclared was really funny. They only started airing them in the middle of June, too! I get they both barely have 40 episodes combined but still.
• They’re airing them at the worst time of the day (night?). I get that it’s for teens and up so they could stay up late, but on the forums I visit most people were commenting how they had to TiVo it. Also, once the school year starts nobody will be able to watch it, and they’ll cancel it. They could air it several times a day, like from 12 to 2 PM, 6 to 8 PM, then one more time from 12 AM to 2 AM so more then one crowd could watch it. Okay, so that would be 1/4th of their programming, but still.
• And the worst offender… THEY SHOULD BE DOING THIS ON A REGULAR BASIS ANYWAY. The N used to show All That, Caitlin’s Way and other shows frequently. Now it’s just Dan Schneider’s old shows, including some that currently air on Nickelodeon. I don’t mind how often they show What I Like About You, Drake & Josh, or even Zoey 101 but I get so pissed off when they show iCarly, Victorious or Big Time Rush. We shouldn’t even have to be asking for it. Instead of showing iCarly or Spongebob for 20 hours a day, they could air these shows on Nickelodeon instead.
• Oh, and they’re milking it for all it’s worth. In every commercial, I see a Facebook or Twitter logo telling us to talk about it on Facebook or Tweet about it. During the actual shows, they show the twitter # (hashtag?) telling us to go online as if we forgot. And it worked. Last night most of the trending topics on Twitter related to the 90s are all that. I don’t have a screenshot on the laptop I’m typing on now but I’ll have it up later.

I guess it’s nice that they’re doing this, but I feel like it’s for the wrong reasons. And I’d like some reunions or other special features. I could go on YouTube to watch the same things whenever I want.

TV

This week, a lot has happened in my world of television. Okay, so what I watch is not at all versatile and either tween comedies, 90’s sitcoms, or ‘pretty people in New York’ shows, but still, I have Yahoo! as my homepage, and I follow AE’s blog for DWTS updates… even if I don’t watch it at all.

1. Total Drama World Tour. So it was Cody vs Alejandro vs Heather. Cody was out before the first commercial break. Courtney acted like a b!tch from my private school. It reminded me of those capture-the-flag days in gym when I’d be told to move because they were girls, and if I didn’t let them pass, they’d either make it look like I pushed kicked raped them. I remember I got one of them out once, but she kept moving, so I just tapped her shoulder and guess what? HER EXTENSIONS CAME OUT. And I got in trouble because that b!tch could fake cry and her parents ‘donated’ a lot. Private schools suck. But yeah, where was I? So Courtney was like ‘Let. Us. MOVE.’ and then Cody and Harold were like no and then she was either kicked or stabbed Harold in the privates. o.O And ugh, she’s been a camera whore since season 2. And this season she got eliminated at 7th/6th place and she STILL was in like most of the episodes after. Ugh. So where was I? Oh yeah. So Heather won. And then lost the money because of Ezekiel-in-Name-Only. Then everyone got burned. And next season has a new cast? Thanks a lot, EiNO! Let’s see how Courtney, Duncan and Owen will sneak on to the show now. The alternate ending was irritating, so I’m happy that Heather ‘legitimately’ won. Fun fact: She’s the first girl and minority winner of Total Drama.
2. iCarly: iStart a Fan War. So the trio goes to some web convention. Spencer tags along. I’ll save you one hour and sum up what really happened. Jack Black vs Jerry Trainer. Ugh. It was them being stupid and basically fighting hugging and shouting stupid chants. The trio got into a fight with their fans about who’s dating whom and then the fans got into a huuuugeeee fight. And then Carly just yelled at everyone and said ‘You’re all creeps for trying to pair us up. iCarly is about the comedy lololol’. And then Gibby and family got lost. The Gibby parts were funny, but it wasn’t iCarly; it felt more like some weird spinoff. It’s obvious Gibby and his brother are going to continue the Schneider-cy once iCarly ends. But yeah. I hate how Dan Schneider killed off any relationship growth between the characters and said we’re stupid for wanting anything because iCarly has ‘such fine and groundbreaking humor’. I mean, it’s better than half the things on Disney, but sometimes it feels like a glorified YouTube account. And when did Jack Black become so annoying? I liked School of Rock and I remember tolerating the few Kids Choice Awards he hosted but good gosh I can’t stand him and Jerry Trainer in the same room. The Zoey 101 and Drake and Josh reference/crossovers were nice at first, then they got annoying. But yeah, I hated how Dan just called all of his viewers, AKA his paycheck, nerds who don’t have anything else to do who hate his comedic skills and only care about relationships. And he also groups us iCarly viewers with those Dungeons and Dragons basement dwellers that treat MMPORGs religiously. And a lot of people on his blog agreed with me. I hated how at first it looked like a major episode of the show, but as the premiere date came closer, it became ‘featuring Jack Black!’ and it ended up as… a pointless filler episode where Dan Schneider basically verbally abused his fans.
3. Dancing with the Stars: How is Bristol still on? Ugh. Sure, people might be voting for her based on improvement, but I read AE’s blog post… so yeah. I remember reading someone wrote this once: “On DWTS, people are supposed to lose weight as a result of training. How do we know Bristol doesn’t deserve to last this long? She hasn’t trained at all, because every week she gets bigger and bigger. Seriously, she could just sit down and eat fried chicken on the floor and her partner could frolic around her and she’d still last’. Okay, so it’s a little paraphrased, but honestly, someone else wrote that! I mean, I don’t watch DWTS, but when she sent home like, what, 5 people home, shouldn’t that set someone’s radar off? I agree with Joy Behar on BP: “On one hand, I’m happy that she’s might win because it would make the Palins happy and not run for anything ever again. But on the other hand, what if a dancing show is just the start? What if they’re convinced that America wants to see more of them? If Bristol won a dancing show, how would they do during an actual election?”.